".....exposure,
attitudes augmented by the ever obtrusive Phineas J. Parsons, Hank stared confidently ahead as the sun
glinted off his eyes. “Calm down Jeth.
We’ll do fine. These people love us still,
I think. Oh, what do we care, we’ll just
get up there and do our best.”
“Geez, I don’t know Hank. It feels like we done something wrong, like
this time we won’t win.”
“Dam it Jeth, you’re not helping
with that attitude. Just put it out of
your mind and help me with Dolly. You
know the judging starts in 20 minutes and we still have to get about four
blocks through all these people.”
Throngs
of the sweated, fatted, insatiably -challenged people of Merriment danced in
the dusty streets that had comprised the hallowed fairground for the past
thirteen years. Ill-mannered children,
miscreants of the day and a few pleasantly refined youngsters darted in
contestants’ paths. And the fat, hairy
women grew subtly restless with their
exploitation. The ill-fitted clothing
was issued them with the primary purpose of accentuating their unshapely forms
about which they were ambivalently self-conscious. They fit like a glove, exposing the plethora
of various body hair as an oddity on which one so inclined could
capitalize. Soiled or foul-smelling
children lined the shady streets, some skipping through the splashes of water
as the town’s fire hydrants were let loose on the hottest days of the summer. Tilt-a-whirl and carrousels churned their
passengers until the fair’s gastronomic delights were returned to the
streets. The giant Ferris-wheel spun
magically into a much more radiant sky than was normally bestowed upon this
town, its rusting hinges creaking as unsuspecting riders clamored to get out
alive. In the thirteen years of
operation, Phineas Parsons had never budgeted more than 100 dollars a year for
fair repair.
“Well, Hello Mrs. Maddox, Miss
Wangford. Enjoying the fair?”
“Yes, so far Hank. When is the judging for your entry?”
“In a few minutes, if we can make it
in time. You two gonna watch us?”
“Of course. And Hank, I want to thank you for introducing
me to Liza. In the past week we have
learned so much about each other. She
has really filled the hole in my life.”
Dolly’s green eyes twinkled with a charge nary an eye of Merriment had
seen since the sixties.
“Are you nervous Jeth?”
“Oh, please Mrs. Maddox, don’t
remind me. I just got to fake it through
the first round of judging and I think I might be ok”
“Easy big fella, don’t take it so
seriously,” Hank said as he tried to make things lighter for his friend.
“It looks like Dolly really doesn’t
want to go much. Kicking and screaming,
I’d say you boys are messing with a freakish animal there. Why, I’m surprised they let that thing into
the fair at all, considering the way in which it was born and all.” Liza displayed a modest amount of disapproval
of the boys’ antics as she accentuated the deepest timber in her voice, evoking the most masculine appearance
possible.
“Liza, is there something I don’t
know about you? I thought you were as
open-minded as I was?”
“Look, I don’t know or care just
what went on in that barn, but I do believe that it is wrong to tamper too much
with the natural order of things. I just
have a strange feeling about this
one. Trust me.”
And,
out of the corner of Hank’s eyes was revealed the first judgment of the
day. They made it. They were on time, and Dolly quickened her
pace. They sat with deep concern on
their faces as they judged the various cows, sheep, pigs, and occasional
goat. Jethro snickered under his breath
as he dreamed about what the judges would say about their accomplishments in
the field of animal husbandry, their folly in the face of convention, not to
mention their budding creativity of the gay lifestyle. Judging was a tense, agonizingly laborious process. Jethro and Hank held their breath, somewhat
because the dung in the barn now had wandered into the nostrils of each
contestant worth a salt, but mostly because they hoped they would be judged
fairly. Dolly and Liza whispered in the
corner of the barn....."
